The Boredom of Lockdown
:grommit:
One of the biggest problems with these frequent lockdowns is thinking up new ways of passing the time. I decided to try my hand at a bit of poetry. I don't think it compares favourably with Wordsworth but i'll give you a flavour of my handiwork :: :grommit: There was a young girl of Cape Cod, Who thought babies were fashioned by God, But 'twas not the Almighty ,Who hiked up her nightie, 'Twas Roger , the lodger, By God! :cry: There was a young woman from Kew, Who said, as the Bishop withdrew, Oh the Vicar is quicker And thicker and slicker. And four inches longer than you. :sleepy6: Jack and Jill went up the hill, So Jack could see Jill's fanny. Jack got a shock and an eyeful of cock, 'Cause Jill was now a closet tranny. :protest: A confused young lady called Alice, Used a dynamite stick as a phallus. They found her vagina in South Carolina, And bits of her tits were in Dallas! :smt107 Hopefully you raised a giggle or two but the real success story is that it kept me from roaming the streets at night! :grommit::grommit::grommit: |
:laughing3:
|
Brilliant stuff Peter, had me chuckling away. More please :-)
|
The Boredom of Lockdown, Chapter 2
:grommit:
|
The Boredom of Lockdown, Chapter 3
:grommit:
:sleepy1: What do you call a priest who sleep walks? ----- A roamin' Catholic. :sleepy1: How do you entice a priest to try and seduce a nun? ----- Dress her up as a choirboy! :sleepy1: What do a short-sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? ----- A very wet nose. :sleepy1: One sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse a man is to lick his ears. Speaking personally, I think that is bollocks! :sleepy1: What do you get when you jingle a man's balls? ----- A white Christmas. :sleepy1: An old man was sunbathing naked on a nudist beach. For civility, he placed his hat over his genitals. Later on, a woman walked up to him and said with a smile, " if you were a gentleman, you would raise your hat in the presence of a lady ", to which he replied, " If you weren't so ugly, my hat would raise itself! " :sleepy1: I went to see my doctor yesterday. He said " How are you ?" I said " I'm fine ".----- He said " What you doin' here then ?" :sleepy1: I went up to a traffic warden outside Wembley Football Stadium on matchday, and shouted "How much for a ticket? " :sleepy1: My mum told me that the best time to ask my dad if I wanted anything was during sex. Buoyed by this helpful piece of knowledge, I burst in through the bedroom door saying, " Can I have a new bike please daddy? " He was not best pleased, but his secretary was quite nice about it. Not only did I get my bike, but I also got the promise of a horse for Christmas with a guarantee of weekly riding lessons! :sleepy1: |
Oh my LOL
|
:D
|
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 19:51. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
The site is owned and operated by S-A-Web, The Netherlands