[peter92305]

What do you call a priest who sleep walks? ----- A roamin' Catholic.


How do you entice a priest to try and seduce a nun? ----- Dress her up as a choirboy!


What do a short-sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? ----- A very wet nose.


One sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse a man is to lick his ears.
Speaking personally, I think that is bollocks!


What do you get when you jingle a man's balls? ----- A white Christmas.


An old man was sunbathing naked on a nudist beach.
For civility, he placed his hat over his genitals.
Later on, a woman walked up to him and said with a smile,
" if you were a gentleman, you would raise your hat in the presence of a lady ",
to which he replied, " If you weren't so ugly, my hat would raise itself! "


I went to see my doctor yesterday. He said " How are you ?"
I said " I'm fine ".----- He said " What you doin' here then ?"


I went up to a traffic warden outside Wembley Football Stadium on matchday, and shouted "How much for a ticket? "


My mum told me that the best time to ask my dad if I wanted anything was during sex.
Buoyed by this helpful piece of knowledge, I burst in through the bedroom door saying,
" Can I have a new bike please daddy? " He was not best pleased, but his secretary was quite nice about it.
Not only did I get my bike, but I also got the promise of a horse for Christmas with a guarantee of weekly riding lessons!