Thread: Prison Guard Part 4
View Single Post
  #3  
Old 20-03-10, 14:46
swrazor swrazor is offline
Member
AFF Regular
  
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 78
Rep Power: 572
swrazor has a spectacular aura aboutswrazor has a spectacular aura about
Default good story
my only suggestion would be that there were missed opportunities to really describe the pass out. Choosing instead to just say she went out x minutes later. Just my 2 cents.

Swrazor
Reply With Quote