I have it on good authority from the Head of my undercover spy network, that Larry's favourite blue satin blouse has been consigned to the wardrobe in the sky where all well behaved blouses go after they have been ravaged by murderous scissor-wielding attackers!

I should like to offer my heartfelt condolences on your loss and should be happy to join you in a cross channel memorial service if you feel that it may ease your pain. It's good to know that our 2 great nations stand side by side during moments of grief.